With such an overwhelming amount of cunts in this cunt tree of America, one might think that identifying the first Cunt of the Day would be a tedious, drawn-out process. In fact, it is a scientifically proven fact that there are more cunts in the U.S.A than there are non-cunts. How in the name of Ted Haggard could we pick one inaugural cunt out of more than 150 million cunts?
The truth is, we at Cuntwatch had to think about this for about three seconds. The answer is painfully obvious. Congratulations, G.W. Bush. You are our first Cunt of the Day!
Oh, Decider, you conniving cunt. What have you done to earn such an honor? It's hard to pick just one cuntriculous thing you've done, but we like to stay current here at Cuntwatch, so let's go to the news:
Let's recap - Friday night a devastating tornado ripped through the town of Greensburg, Kansas, killing at least 11 people, and destroying approximately 95% of the town. The survivors have no homes, no jobs, nothing. But the Cunt-in-Chief was nowhere to be found until today. Why did it take him five days to show up and offer his support to the survivors? Well, he had to spend a couple of days cavorting with a figurehead old lady with no power or influence in the world whatsoever. Glad you've got your priorities straight you worthless cunt.
As is typical, Bush acted like a child during his visit to the devastated town. The AP article linked above reports that at one point Bush "ambled down the road to a house with no roof, almost slipping as he picked his way across a chunk of metal on the lawn. He briefly grabbed a chain saw, ripping it into action for the cameras and other media that accompanied him."
There he is, folks. The leader of the free world wants to make sure that the media knows he can properly operate a chainsaw for no reason whatsoever.
It's only fitting that a guy named Bush is our first identified cunt here at Cuntwatch, and we've got a feeling this won't be our last rendezvous.
George W. Bush: You are a cunt.
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10 comments:
Dear Ted,
May I congratulate you on your blog title.
If only people licked the cunts you lick, and if they only knew the cunts you know, then they would be great like you. As you get older, you'll find yourself right on some cunts, and wrong on others, but please, in the process, don't be a cunt.
Alan.
Thanks for your support, Alan.
Got any meth?
I bought some last week, but I didn't inhale.
Alan.
cuntwatch? this is a total rip off from raving atheists.
looks like we have a new cunt.
Indeed, We lurk at your fine site and, when coming up for a blog address, probably borrowed (read: stole) it from there.
However, we have never claimed to not be cunts.
Fair enough, but you owe the almighty Choobus a link since he started the original cuntwatch.
Will do, Imus. I shall rectify the situation with tomorrow's post. Thanks for pointing it out. Twas an honest mistake.
greetings libertarian. Let it be known that I fully endorse your cuntwatch, and commend you for your vigilance. Imus means well, but he's probably just bored now that he's got nothing to do all day.
Thanks, Choobus. I am a big fan of your blog as well.
No worries about Imus. I should have given credit where credit is due. Total brain fart. I'll take care of it in tomorrow's post.
I nominate Jerry Falwell, who for several decades has been the leading proponent of religious-right hatred in this country.
At least he had the decency to die, albeit many years late.
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